


save the last dance (2001) (2012)

by ohmalleys



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: M/M, abed is written specifically as autistic in this but it doesnt come up in text
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-24 23:28:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16185440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmalleys/pseuds/ohmalleys
Summary: troy likes romcoms. abed gives him a romcom.





	save the last dance (2001) (2012)

you can’t have said things changed too much when annie moved in. there were initial worries and anxieties, sure, about how things would change. just little schedule things--shower times, dinner times, and the like. though you were alleviated of those thoughts after troy described the schedule changes as to being nothing more than ‘everything will just be shifted a little to the left’. kind of poetic. the sentiment was appreciated.

 

though once that worry was out of the way, you were tackled with a new thought. one of that annie’s presence could rock the boat of your friendship with troy. although the s.s. trobed was of a sturdy model, buoyant as a buoy and as unsinkable as _titanic_ ’s rotten tomato score and as unkillable as the robotic great white in _jaws_ and--

 

okay, nautical references aside. the two of you were tight. but you didn’t want things to have to change too much between the pair of you in the event of annie’s presence.

 

however, things didn’t seem to change too much. besides where you sleep (though walls of cotton that are scented like ‘sea island cotton’ are an interesting new landscape), it’s about the same.

 

the only thing that has changed is some of your movie night selections.

 

it’s always been known that annie likes things that are cute, sappy, dramatic-but-only-in-a- _grey’s-anatomy_ -episode way, etc. and so you had figured that her contribution to your dvd cabinet would have been as such. it’s just that, well.. maybe it’s the sheer quantity you did not anticipate.

 

every wednesday night, annie gets to pick out the movie you get to watch, so you’ve already become pretty versed in her tastes: _bridget jones’s diary, clueless, leap year, 27 dresses, you’ve got mail, while you were sleeping_. et cetera. so forth. ad infinitum.

 

point is, annie likes romantic comedies. which you knew she would have, and britta could probably give a half-assed psychoanalysis on why annie likes romantic comedies so much. but that’s secondary.

 

you discuss this during one of your bunkbed talks with troy, because keeping these thoughts trapped in your head causes too much rattling.

 

“- i mean, two bridget jones’s diaries? two legally blondes, not including the spin-offs about her twin relatives? are these things that she’ll purchase soon? because the dvd cabinet is but so large, troy.”

 

“well,” troy is doing his obviously-trying-to-be-diplomatic tone of voice. he sounds like an adult figure in an afterschool special. like in old degrassi,” we could also get a new cabinet. then we can get more movies! i mean, if it ever comes to that..”

 

“that’s true,” you try another angle,” i think my problem with her movie choices is that romantic comedies are predictable. i mean. i like structure and recurring motifs, but it’s a little too much. it’s one of those ‘you’ve seen one of them, you’ve seen all of them’ genres.”

 

“you think?” you can hear troy shifting in the bed under you. maybe pulling up his blanket more. it does get a little drafty at night, given that you’re in a blanket fort.

 

“i’m not saying i want her to stop picking movies on wednesdays. ‘one man’s trash is another man’s treasure’. i just need to vent.”

 

“oh?” he’s gone uncharacteristically quiet.

 

you doubledown to fill the silence,” ‘there's only two categories--you can have a romantic comedy that’s in a highschool setting--that's coupled with a coming of age story. or your romantic comedy can be about two adults with jobs that make them feel just a little run-down, but they still live in, say, new york city quite comfortably. there's no romantic comedy that's for the jobless, college attendee. let alone for us in community college.”

 

“is that your beef?” he sounds like he’s taken to sitting up,” because you totally just described some untapped potential! a romcom in like.. like greendale? that’d be so cool, right?”

 

“alright, but how about that whole ‘meet cute’ trope?”

 

“meat cute? _m-e-a-t_?”

 

and he didn’t really have to spell it out for you to hear homophone-related confusion, but the action is appreciated regardless,” _m-e-e-t._ when the two love interests first meet in a romantic comedy, typically through quirky means, to signal to the audience that, yes, they are going to date soon. not an exact definition, but it’s a tv tropes page i haven’t fully committed to memory yet.”

 

“i mean, what about it?”

“it’s so tacky! and overdone. every movie we’ve watched with annie has that exact same moment. it makes the rest so predictable. there’s no will-they-or-won’t-they. we already know they will.”

 

troy’s paused for thought. usually this leads into him somewhat changed the topic because he’s not sure what else to say.

 

in typical troy fashion, he does so,” can friends have meet cutes? liiiike.. did we have a meet cute? is that a thing?”

 

you consider his proposal. with deliberation you come to,” no. our meeting would probably have been offscreen. is our lives were a show-”

 

“which it’s not.”

 

“yes, which it’s not,” you pause for more thought,” regardless, i don’t think friends have meet cutes.”

 

“well, we still met each other!”

  
“but it wasn’t cute. if anything our relationship wasn’t signaled to the audience as being important until much later in the season. you know. if our life was a show. and shows aren’t romantic comedies, that’s more of a movie-specific genre.”

 

“well… well,” he’s trying to muster up something,” i’m glad that our life isn’t a show.”

 

he’s taken up what you could almost place as a.. defensive tone of voice. if you had to swing it, you’d guess that maybe troy likes romantic comedies?

 

though you can never be sure with him, since he cries watching every movie. so you can’t really use that as a metric of enjoyment. he cried watching _ratatouille_. he cried watching that ending scene in _legally blonde_ where it talks about how elle woods is now successful in life over what was essentially a slideshow presentation.

 

you consider flat-out asking him about it because beating around the bush isn’t your style; however, you think troy’s done for the night on this topic. he doesn’t like conversations that get him all worked up before bed because it (quote) ‘gives him the weirdest fucking dreams’ (end quote). and you think you might have gotten him riled up.

 

this gets confirmed when you hear him breathe in deeply through his nose while the silence continues. he turns in bed, audible tugging at his blankets.

 

“do you want to talk about what we’re doing for lunch tomorrow?” because you and troy have a system where, based on events that happen on the drive to greendale, conduct your meal for that day. it isn’t entirely superstitious (though for troy, it could be), more of something fun to do that wakes troy up on the drive so he doesn’t hit a squirrel after the events of the squirrel-hitting-day-that-shall-not-be-mentioned.

 

anyways. long story short, the rules that establish the rules for your lunch conduction change semi-frequently, after you had the rule where if it drizzled on the way to school, you both had to eat sour cream and onion chips. and after a week of morning drizzle, neither of you could bare that burden any longer.

 

but troy yawns, quite loudly if you could add, and makes sure you hear him turning in bed,” nah. i’m _super_ tired! night.”

 

you concede to his poor acting (maybe you should give him notes? you pencil that mentally down for a later date) and close your eyes,” alright. goodnight.”

 

* * *

 

it’s monday. usually, things in the beginning of the week aren’t too hectic in the syllabus. the study group just meets out of habit more than desperation. because of this, usually there’s some stragglers. or, if you’re pierce, sometimes you forget to show up by remembering you don’t actually have to show up.

 

those present in the study room are jeff, annie, shirley, and yourself. not a bad attendance count, since you’re all ten minutes early. annie in particular chooses to comment on this to jeff, since he’s more of a fashionably-late type.

 

he waves his hand dismissively,” this room has way better service than half the school. can you blame me?” and goes back to texting.

 

annie crosses her arms, ‘hmph’s, and pretends to flip through one of her textbooks until she finds something worth reading.

 

shirley is quick to try to break the ice,” anything happen over this weekend?” she holds the silence for two seconds,” well, if nobody wants to say anything, i can start. my two boys were-”

 

“annie, troy likes your movies.”

 

annie looks up from her half-reading that she self-imposed,” huh?”

 

“he likes your romantic comedies.”

 

“shocker,” jeff chimes in, trying to seem more uninvested than he probably was.

 

shirley seems to forgive your social faux pas in favor for this conversation,” _an-nie!_ you’ve been making the boys watch romcoms?”

 

“yes!” annie claps her hand together,” and it’s sweet that troy likes my romcom taste. not that he’d probably admit to it out loud to me, but.”

 

“yes, he really likes them,” you muse it over,” i think he really liked the end of _leap year_ , in particular. i can just read some things on him.”

 

“ _aww_!” annie and shirley both coo at that, though it isn’t too difficult.

 

britta, almost as if she wants to help prove your point, slides into the chair next to you. she’s apparently heard enough to draw a conclusion,” troy’s definitely one of those ‘true romantic types’.”

 

“ _aww_!”

 

but she goes on to say that romantic comedies are dumbed down for women to not even try to ask for the bare minimum in films targeted to their demographic, which makes jeff groan loud enough to drown out the rest of what she’s saying.

 

“well, personally,” annie is clasping her hands together,” i think it’s adorable. not many men seem to care about romance, especially these days.”

 

“yeah, yeah,” jeff is now moving into looking way more interested in texting than the conversation.

 

“well. troy seemed to be hurt when i said i didn’t like them. no offense, annie.”

 

and after annie does a dramatic little gasp to show she’s taken offense, she settles back down.

 

“in fact,” you go on,” after i told him the genre doesn’t have much for anyone our age, he said that it was untapped potential to have one set in somewhere like greendale. he seemed really insistent in a way where he wasn’t trying to seem insistent about it.”

 

“well, dear,” shirley is using her sing-song voice with you,” he does have a point. i’ve never watched a romcom where a single mother-”

 

“shirley, if you’re about to describe your exact situation, spare us the details,” jeff’s back in, it seems. at least for a snide remark.

 

“abed,” britta is using her careful voice, like she’s trying to pry information out using whatever she’s learned in psychology 101 on you,” what else did troy say?”

 

“well,” you think back,” he wanted to know if we had a meet cute. and i responded that of course we didn’t have a meet cute-”

 

“abed, if you’re about to describe the whole conversation,” jeff trails off. you get his point.

“jeff!” annie sounds offended,” abed was talking!”

 

“no, no, it’s fine,” britta kicks back in her seat, feet up on the table with her arms crossed,” i think i figured it out.”

 

“no psychoanalysis,” you remind her. she just winks at you, then at annie.

 

annie and britta do that thing where they seem to have a whole conversation just by looking at one another, which frustrates you to no end. annie opens her mouth in a perfect ‘O’ towards the end of their exchange, which is even more baffling.

 

at least, by then, troy is walking in the room, apologizing for being late because the vending machine stole one of his quarters and how he went to find maintenance because it was about time the vending machine stopped getting away with its crimes.

 

“anyways,” he unzips his bag, dumps out around 12 bags of cool ranch doritos,” long story short, i have a lifetime of free chips. but the lifetime is more like ‘however long i attend greendale’ and the chips are only cool ranch flavor. oh, and if they run out of cool ranch, it’ll probably take around a month for a new case to come in.”

 

“couldn’t you have gotten a different flavor? like nacho cheese?’ jeff is already reaching for one of the bags.

 

“i know my limits.”

 

* * *

 

the study session goes as well as expected; that is, you all studied for around 15 minutes until troy asked if anyone remembered that show _corneil & bernie. _ which lead to annie going ‘the talking dog cartoon?’, which lead to jeff asking ‘so, like marmaduke right?’ thinking that was some kind of one-up.

 

which meant you had to one-up his poor one-up by telling him that in the united kingdom, _corneil & bernie _ ran under the name _watch my chops_ and that it was funnier than marmaduke (and since you had recently watched the live action film with troy, the point wasn’t too hard to make).

 

but soon the conversation lead to just talking about talking dog movies, which lead to annie confessing she has a poster for the zac efron horse movie _the derby stallion_ (2005) hidden in one of her drawers. which leads to britta confessing she’d seen the poster when helping annie move and that it was impressive that she got zac efron to sign said poster.

 

at which point shirley confessed to pirating a copy of the zac efron remake of _17 again,_ but it was completely on accident because it was a gift from one of her younger in-laws. “i mean, i did want to see it,” then she clasped her head in her hands,” but not like that!”

 

so you all have to convince her pirating movies doesn’t anger god in the slightest, it just mainly angers big hollywood. and by the time you’re through with that, pierce shows up and you spend the remaining 15 minutes all making fun of him and then call it a day.

 

annie catches you on the way out by politely, though _very_ insistently, grabbing your forearm,” hi! can we talk?”

 

“oh, a roommate-to-roommate talk? i’m all for it. unless you want to vote troy out of being our roommate, then i’ll have tell the roommate council that you’re overstepping your bounds and that you’ve grown power-hungry.”

 

“o..kay. abed,” she’s using her gentle, persuasive voice. what’s with everyone and their transparent tones lately? “i think we should plan a dance.”

 

her voice is lowered on dance, like it’s supposed to be a secret. you point a finger to her, keeping your voice low,” annie, this sounds almost like a scheme.”

 

“hey! i don’t scheme.” she crosses her arms, gives you a little bit of her disney pout-y face that can be spotted as a manipulation tactic from a mile away.

 

“no need to trick me. i love a good scheme. especially if there’s hijinks. oh, and a needlessly complicated plan. can we have a rube goldberg machine involved somehow? none of these are necessary for my involvement, i just know we may need to spice it up a little.”

 

“then,” she lets out a resigned sigh,” yes, it’s a scheme. but it’s a good-natured scheme!”

 

you lean forward towards her, expecting her to whisper her full plan into your ear while the shot cuts away. but instead she just keeps her voice quiet as she’s studying her mary janes,” i think we should hold a dance. for troy!”

 

and you’re already in step with her,” so he can have his romantic comedy moment? i see. a dance is a good setting, nice work, annie. he would want it to be a greendale, too. convincing the dean should be easy-”

 

“and you’re talking to the queen of proposals, here. i can draft up a winning presentation in fifteen minutes flat. and the dean won’t need even that.”

 

she pulls out her notebook, flips to a script,” here’s what i already have. i was writing it down while you all were convincing shirley that you’ve pirated movies in the past, too. which i didn’t buy _at all_.”

 

you flash a toothy grin at her before diverting all your attention to what she’s written to get to the topic that was more discussable,” anything proposed to the dean with any notion of forethought will be convincing enough. skip the presentation. this alone will work perfectly.”

 

“and if this doesn’t work,” she pretends to crack her neck,” i have a ringer for us. a _jeff ringer_. get it?”

 

you nod. nothing could go wrong.

 

* * *

 

the dean’s office is in a state of disarray. for some reason, all of the vending machines on campus were out of cool ranch doritos, which happened to be leonard’s favorite snack. they had shared a stern conversation, which had left the dean quite frazzled.

 

“annie, abed,” he sighed, arms strung across his desk,” can’t you see now’s not the time? i just-”

 

“dean,” jeff lazily plops into one of the chairs in the office, playing on his phone since you’re pretty sure annie’s bribing him with something to keep him there. whatever she’s bribing him with, she didn’t think of anything too convincing to get jeff to act like he cared.

 

“jeffery!” the dean straightens up in his chair, adjusts his tie,” and to what do i owe the honor?”

 

jeff uses one hand to point his thumb at annie, who begins her spiel on their dance plan.

 

at the end, you pitch in,” we’re going to call it ‘save the last dance’, like the 2001 movie.”

 

the dean claps his hands together,” well, i want to say no, but it’s just so hard! what an adorable presentation.”

 

“thank you!” annie gives a little bow,” i have been doing pretty well in my public speaking class, although i think on our last presentation i was cheated out of a few points-”

 

“annie,” jeff cuts in,” timing much?”

 

“well, it has the seal of approval from me! i can’t hardly wait!”

 

“like the 1998 movie?”

 

“no, silly! like the expression,” the dean pulls out his agenda, and begins to rifle through it,” now let’s settle on dates, timeslots, the boooring stuff that may keep the three of you here for hours.”

 

“some of could go home,” jeff is half-exiting his chair.

 

“yes! annie and abed, feel free to head home whenever you want. jeffery and i can work out the details.”

 

and jeff must have crossed annie’s path wrong sometime today, because she takes your arm and waves,” we really should be getting home, anyways! troy can’t leave without us, after all.”

 

the last thing you see before leaving the dean’s office is jeff hanging his head while the dean seems to be choosing the correct pen to pencil the date in for.

 

* * *

 

troy picks the movie that night. he goes with the new paranormal activity film, against what is probably his best interest.

 

it’d be too kind to say he isn’t easily frightened. and since you’re usually the bearer of him digging his nails into your arms during jumpscares, you’d even venture to classify him as a ‘scaredy cat’.

 

but troy keeps picking horror movies when a new one comes out, and you keep enduring him trying to spend the first thirty minutes acting like he isn’t phased at all, only to be holding onto you for dear life by the end of the second act.

 

not that you’re really complaining. you like anything that reaffirms your friendship. that’s why you sometimes tie troy’s shoes for him because he doesn’t feel like doing it before leaving the apartment. that’s why troy learned a whole secret code in order to pass you notes in anthropology, even though you sat next to each other and it wasn’t like duncan cared enough to catch you.

 

it’s annie’s turn to make dinner, so you split a frozen pizza of her choosing.

 

annie likes to act like she doesn’t like horror movies. she usually gaps in offense and covers her eyes or mouth, depending on what she’s trying to convey. but it doesn’t take too keen an eye to pick up on how she doesn’t actually pry her attention away.

 

of course, you don’t let her know you’ve been tipped off on her secret, so you put the pizza in for her once the oven is preheated and slice it for everyone once it’s cooled. just things so she doesn’t have to excuse herself from in front of the television.

 

you partly think you understand annie, but also you don’t. originally, you had pegged her for the preppy girl. the nerd. straight-laced. and, sure, she is all of those things.

 

but she’s much more active than those roles really contain. she makes big decisions, she’s got a secret dark side, she wants to cause trouble at times. she likes horror movies, but doesn’t want to change her image.

 

it makes you contemplate her motives on the whole dance scheme. on surface level, it seems straightforward enough. but she’s also acting like someone who isn’t sharing some details. if you could figure out where her omissions begin, then maybe you could get to the bottom of--

  
  
troy grabs your arm, jumping you back into reality. he whispers an apology to you, brushes his hand over your arm. onscreen, some ghostly shenanigans were going on.

 

you stopped paying attention after the third paranormal activity, since your mind has already crafted the seventh paranormal activity. 2020 film scene, you better watch out. because in this one, the ghost antics get realer than ever before. maybe they’d even show it in VR.

 

current technology isn’t there yet, though, so you also spend some time imagining the future of virtual reality in accordance to film-going. somehow, theaters have to figure out how to draw crowds in. 4D will never cut it.

 

that night, troy and you have a brief bunkbed conversation about the movie. you pitch to him your _paranormal activity 7: the VR experience_ idea and he seems adamant that it’ll take to at least the tenth movie for virtual reality to become mainstream in theaters.

 

“does the ghost also haunt through the virtual reality headset? because i don’t think i’ll be able to see that one. not because i’ll be scared or anything..”

 

“but because you don’t want the ghost to go from inside the headset to into your mind?”

 

“yes!” troy claps his hands together,” and it’s totally cool to be scared of that, because that’s fucking terrifying. thank you, man. you get me.”

 

“any time.”

 

and despite your lighthearted conversation, troy must still have a nightmare. or trouble sleeping. whatever it may be, you get woken up by the telltale dip at the edge of your bed.

 

having top bunk means a lot of things. you can look out at the apartment like a pirate atop of the crow’s nest. you get to enjoy more warmth in the winter since heat rises. you get to climb down a ladder, which isn’t really an advantage, you just think it feels cool.

 

but it also means that there is only one point of entry. all the weight put into one spot. and while you consider yourself to be a heavy sleeper, it never fails to wake you up.

 

though by this point in your friendship with troy, it’s kind of an unspoken rule that you’re cool with it. you know sometimes being around you helps him sleep because he feels safer.

 

at least, that’s what you can imply from something he said once in the dreamatorium while you were roleplaying an alternate ending to an inspector spacetime episode. and anyways, cramming next to troy on a twin-sized mattress is kind of like cuddling a squishy space heater. it’s nice.

 

you turn on your side to make room for him and he pauses, so you add in a fake yawn to make it count. it’s just another unspoken rule.

 

troy finishes worming into your bed. you figure one day you should let him know there’s no way any human could ever sleep through the process of him crawling into a bed as small as this without waking up. maybe when he gets a girlfriend, you’ll give him the head’s up.

 

you consider taking the time before you fall back asleep to maybe continue to plan for the whole upcoming dance. you had meet cutes to think up. an appropriate soundtrack for the night to concoct. you’d have to have a casting call for someone to be troy’s girlfriend. after all, he can’t date just anybody, right?

 

but the moment troy puts his arm around your side, your brain quiets. you think you’ll save the planning for the morning.

 

* * *

 

 

you discuss with annie some preliminary plans you have set out between classes. you give her a short rundown of the setlist you’re thinking of for the dance (approved, easy).

 

she, in turn, tells you she’s got a few clubs on board to provide food, drink, decorations--in exchange for your study group never bothering them again. which is a fair exchange because it’s a large favor from them that will require a very large gesture from your very out-of-control friend group.

 

you have a few connections to some students with tech expertise that are willing to hook up the cafeteria with stage lights for free, just so long as you have a camera somewhere. free exposure to your niche online audience, and all.

 

although the dean didn’t really express to jeff that he wanted this to all be on a very limited budget, it _is_ still greendale. it’s budget-implied.

 

“the one thing is,” annie’s tracked you down while you were on the way to the water fountain on the quiet side of campus to give you more planning updates,” we’ve got to be able to market this, or nobody’s going to come. i can’t attach my name to something that has no attendees! imagine how that will look on me.”

 

“i don’t think job applications need to know how popular your community college dance was,” you think it over for a moment,” but, this dance will need extras. people in the background. so i can see your point--we need people to come.”

 

“i was considering asking shirley for help, but sometimes shirley’s idea of helping is, well.. not helpful,” annie pulls out her planner from her backpack, taps the butt of her pencil against the paper,” buuut, we can’t do this all on our own.”

 

annie deliberates out loud for a bit before she catches herself,” sorry! just thinking out loud, thought you might jump in at any time. sometimes i forget who i’m talking to, haha. or, oh! sorry, that was rude of me.”

 

“it’s cool,” you flash her a thumbs up,” so, shirley?”

 

“yeah,” she jots it down in her notebook,” ‘ _ask shirley for help’_..”

 

as it turned out, asking shirley wasn’t that hard. mostly because you didn’t have to do it (annie always likes to take control when she can), and also because shirley needed a case study for her marketing class.

 

you’re at the cafeteria with annie, troy, and shirley. some days you opt to have a smaller lunch group just because the study group takes a lot of free chairs to put around the booth you frequent so everyone can sit. it gets crowded.

 

also, since greendale veers on the edge of being a lawless land, taking extra lunch chairs is a crime punishable by having gum stuck in your hair or other schoolyard bully tactics. best to be avoided when possible.

 

and you got the good end of the stick. the long end of the stick? whatever the reverse idiom may be. because you and troy always have lunch together, so you never get broken up when it comes to these unique lunch combos.

 

“wait,” troy stops playing with his mashed potatoes,” dance? what dance? we’re having a dance?!”

 

“annie and i are planning a dance.”

 

“aw, man! and you guys ask shirley to help but not me? i see how it goes..” he crosses his arms, pouts his lower lip,” i was prom king. i know how to have an awesome dance.”

 

“i don’t think those are related,” annie flashes you a quick look that probably means something.

 

all you know is that this, in theory, was supposed to be sort of like a surprise for troy. not really as a gift for him, but something you know he can’t be in the planning process for.

 

annie jumps in, though,” we’re doing it for the dean. he’s been very busy, so we’re helping him out with planning the dance!”

 

troy scoffs,” and he didn’t recruit me? his loss!”  
  
“no, no!” she’s waving her hands frantically, but changes her approach,” the dean didn’t want to get the whole group involved. he told us he knows that you’ve been very busy lately.”

 

troy considers this for a moment, and softens,” aww, he remembered i have a big test coming up! that’s.. oddly considerate of him! sorry, annie. sorry, abed. carry on, shirley.”

 

you’re very pleased with how that went down. annie’s improv (and lying) skills have never been too sharp, but sometimes she really can impress you.

 

“so, i am helping, then? i have to let my professor know i won’t need an extension date!” shirley grabs both annie’s and your hands and squeezes them,” tell the dean i said thank you! i won’t let him down.”

 

* * *

 

_“inspector! quickly, over here!”_

 

_you duck and dive on the ground, avoiding the rubble from above._

 

_“good observation, constable,” but you’re not you right now. rather, you’re someone entirely different._

 

_“why, thank you,” troy (who isn’t troy), pats himself on the back,” years of bird-watching has left me with a trained eye.”_

 

_“quite so,” you stand back up, assist troy in standing,” now, when were we?”_

 

_troy pulls out their locator, taps about the screen,” the year is 2413. we’re just outside the andromeda galaxy. the air content of this planet contains a higher amount of helium, which explains our voices.”_

 

_“i was about to say,” the two of you share a hearty laugh while troy puts away the locating device._

 

_“what’s on today’s agenda, inspector? fighting blorgons? righting timeline wrongs?”_

 

_“well, i say we first meet some of the locals and then assess our situation from there,” you offer troy your arm for linking, and he easily commits. usually the pair of you play out episodes very by-the-book, but this was one of the minor changes you’ve added._

 

_the scene changes. just a little timeskip in the episode. you meet the locals. the gist of the plot of the episode is the princess falls in love with the inspector at first sight and declares them to be wed. duty-bound to interact with the timeline as it unfolds as to not disturb it too much, the inspector agrees._

 

_however, just before the inspector is to be wed, constable reggie uses his foreshadowed keen observational skills to spot that the princess is really just a blorgon in an elaborate costume in a plan to capture the inspector while his guard is down._

 

_overall, it’s a very good episode, in your opinion. not only does it show the inspector’s commitment to his space and time travels, but it has many scenes of the constable growing increasingly worried that if the inspector gets married, then their adventure together will come to an end._

 

_the trouble is troy is going off-book. now, you appreciate improvs when appropriate. alternate universes to the canon of inspector spacetime and whatnot. but troy is completely changing the plotline._

 

_“you two,” the princess is pointing at you and troy and chuckles,” seem to be very close.” the line is originally that she singles out the inspector, rather than both the inspector and reggie._

 

_“you could say that we are,” troy takes your hand, squeezes it. you flash him a quizzical look, still in character. you figure the inspector would react as such._

 

_troy, as reggie,( but still kind of as troy) leans to whisper into your ear,” trust me on this one.”_

 

 _he turns back to the princess,” in fact, this is my_ _fiancé.”_

 

_“oh,” the princess sounds disheartened,” what a shame! inspector, you really are quite a beauty. shame, shame..”_

 

_one of the aliens on the princess’ royal court claps his hands, drawing attention to himself,” anyone for dinner soon? our guests must be hungry.”_

 

_“famished!” troy pitches in._

 

_the scene changes again. it’s later that night. in the episode, the inspector is in the princess’ private quarters for the night while ithe scene is intercut with the constable alone his own room, shown pacing._

 

_however, the constable is with you in this scene. it looks like you’re sharing the room the constable was shown alone in._

 

_“constable, what was that about?”_

 

_“remember my bird-watching?” the line is playing out the same as it does in the original episode, just in the wrong scene,” there was something wrong about the princess’ appearance. so i looked closer, and.. blorgon, inspector! she’s a blorgon!”_

 

_“by the gods!” you place your hand over your heart. that is, if the inspector had a heart and wasn’t an inter-dimensional being,” good eye, my dear friend. we would have really been in it if not for you.”_

 

_“so i figured this was a blorgon plot against you. whatever it may be,” troy’s toeing the fine line between knowing too much due to his position, but by now, the plot changes are too interesting for you to call a time out (or a space out),” i knew i had to keep you away from the princess. or, er, blorgon, that is.”_

 

_“well, there is only one course of action now.”_

 

_troy grins at you and you return the gesture,” escape the blorgons and get back to the x-7 dimensionizer?”_

 

_“right-o!”_

 

_the scene changes again, such as they usually do to avoid explaining the plan before it unfolds to the viewer. and, to be fair to troy, the rest of the episode proceeds as standard._

 

_instead of the constable having a solo mission to save the inspector, though, the two of them use the cover of being engaged to get on the princess’ good graces before taking her out in a moment of weakness. in the episode, her moment of weakness was just seconds before she said ‘i do’ when the constable busted into the reception and used his anti-gravity martial arts to take the blorgon out._

 

_now, it’s the next day over tea. the princess had asked for everyone in her court to leave the three of them alone. she barely got into asking the inspector if he’d like more sugar before the constable landed a chop on her._

 

_the pair of you get back to the x-7 dimensionizer practically unscatched. instead of having to fight her whole court, which were other aliens being mind-controlled by the blorgons, reggie taking out the princess in one fell swoop was enough to break the control. they simply had to ask where the exit was on the way out._

 

_space? saved. time? saved._

 

“you know,” you drop the british accent. the room turns from the inside of the dimensionizer back into the dreamatorium,” i had never thought of it that way.”

 

“what? that we can completely change episodes and stuff?” troy is digging in the closet/engine/kind-of-pantry of the dreamatorium. he throws you a pack of chips ahoy,” i thought of it after i was in my lit class and was like. ‘ugggh, _death of a salesman_ is so boring. what if he WASN’T a salesman?’. boom. made it totally interesting.”

 

“no, i mean, i had never considered an alternate universe where the inspector and constable pretend to be engaged. or a universe where they _are_ engaged. i thought it was very interesting.”

 

“oh, well,” troy is very engaged on eating his pack of cookies. you understand this, because it takes a lot of energy (physical and emotional) to keep the dreamatorium running as smoothly as it does. you always need to snack afterwards,” i got it from, y’know, a movie.”

 

“really?”

 

“yeah. i watched one of annie’s the other day since you guys were busy. it’s, like, _the proposal_? sandra bullock is in it. annie could probably explain it better than me.” he’s quick to change the subject,” how’s the dance planning going, by the way?”

 

“oh, it’s very much so going.” you’re kind of tired at this point. you did just improv your way through a whole episode. and by now, your mind is back on the dance.

 

troy finishes his snack and heads for the door,” sweet! well.. i’ll see you in the blanket fort?”

 

“yes,” you’re going to have to watch more romantic comedies if this dance is going to go over well, you decide. you shoot a finger gun at troy,” see you there.”

 

* * *

 

thursday night, shirley shows you what she’s got.

 

she comes to your apartment, large box in hand, passive-aggressively reminding you that she has to get home to her children so she wouldn’t mind if you didn’t need her for very long.

 

troy, annie, and yourself gather around the box she’s set on your kitchen table like it’s a treasure chest. shirley shoo’s the three of you away to open it,” now, i thought very hard about the posters and t-shirt designs-”

 

“SHIRTS? shirley, you made SHIRTS,” troy pumps his fist,” this is so cool!”

 

“why, thank you!” she gets back to business, muttering to herself,” whether or not it’s required either way for my case study..”

 

troy reaches past her to unfurl a poster. annie takes a shirt at the same time as shirley is holding one up for you to look at,” what’s one thing college students love? free things! and what free thing will advertise your little dance better than these?”

 

there’s a pause.

 

shirley clears her throat, her voice raising an octave,” well, what do you think?”

 

“shirley..” annie’s brow furrows,” read to me the design.”

 

“oh, okay! it says: ‘saved at the last dance’!” she looks between you and annie,” that was the name.. right?”

 

“it was ‘save the last dance’. like the 2001 movie,” as you’re speaking, troy unhelpfully pipes up that he loves that movie.

 

“now people are going to think this is a.. a christian event!” annie starts to pace,” our cool, hip, dean-approved college party! who’s going to come and get saved at greendale? nobody, that’s who!”

 

“well, i for one always think greendale could use a little more jesus in the mix,” shirley is repacking the shirt she had pulled out,” if you don’t want my help, that’s fine with me! i can just take an F on my case study, then..”

 

annie groans, presses her hand to her mouth as she falls into deep thought. maybe also to prevent getting into an argument with shirley.

 

you consider comforting annie, but aren’t sure how. luckily, troy easily steps into the role,” look, annie! these shirts are totally cool! and the posters! look at the.. the font, and stuff!”

 

“you’re right, troy. i learned how to use wordart for this,” shirley sniffles.

 

“she used wordart, annie!” troy places his hand on her shoulder,” plus, people can wear them, like, ironically. that’s really in right now?”

 

“you mean it?”

 

“yea! i don’t actually know it actually works, but imagine jeff wearing one of these. it’s kind of like that. or when peirce wore those grandpa shirts as his new thing!”

 

“oh, i get it, i guess,” she seems to be less panicked. or angry. or whatever it was.

 

troy gives her shoulder another squeeze before turning to you and grinning. he winks at you. you have no choice but to wink back, because it’s just that cool.

 

“you’re okay with them, now?” shirley edges back into the conversation.

 

“yes,” annie seems grateful now, she places one of her hands over shirley’s,” thank you for your help. sorry about freaking out.”

 

“don’t worry, we.. all overreact,” shirley gives her sad eyebrows,” can you forgive me for being dramatic?”

 

shirley and annie talk things out for about a minute and hug like it’s a lifetime movie. troy goes ‘aww’! because he can never resist the urge to.

 

as far as conflicts go, this was pretty minor. just a speedbump. personally, you had accepted the (probably intentionally) misprints minutes ago because  it’s just typical greendale shenanigans that you’ve just got to embrace.

 

fifteen minutes later, the three of you finally convince shirley to go home after she rifles through your cupboards and insists that she at least bakes you some cookies.

 

troy excuses himself to take a bath (to make a long story short: annie bought bubble bath stuff that troy has been pretending like he hasn’t been using for the past week), which leaves you alone in the kitchen with annie.

 

it’s quiet for a few seconds. once the water starts running, she turns to the box with the shirts and such,” we’ll have to get to greendale early tomorrow to hand all of this out.”

 

“i’ll set my alarm,” you’re on the way to the blanket fort when annie calls out ‘wait!’. you turn back around to her, perplexed.

 

“do you think.. he’ll like the dance?”

 

“troy?” she’s obviously referring to troy,” he likes anything with loud music and flashy lights. especially if it’s being done right, which it is.”

 

you give annie a few seconds to look proud of herself before adding,” though, i have been thinking about this whole romantic comedy thing. how can we assure troy meets anyone? there’s so many variables, many of which are out of our control.”

 

“well, yes, but-”

 

“so i’ve been thinking: we should pick his date. obviously, they will meet spur of the moment and will have an unforgettable night of laughs and such, but we should make sure whoever he meets is right for him.”

 

“abed, i don’t think-”

 

you’re on a roll. you feel like a director. the perfect setting. the perfect score. the lighting will be soft and the atmosphere will be just right for falling in love, if troy wishes to do so. the only problem is without knowing who he’ll spend the night with, you’ve just been stuck with self-inserting in the meanwhile. doesn’t really work longhand.

 

“i don’t talk to many girls, though. but i know you do. and britta. and shirley. is it alright if you pick who? i think troy would like to spend an evening with someone funny. because they have to relate quickly, and only someone with a sense of humor can really see the mastery of his batman impression.”

 

annie’s across the room from you. her expression is.. well. usually you can vaguely get what somebody is emoting at you. but she’s kind of distant. it looks almost as though there’s a sentence in her mouth but she won’t open it to let it out.

 

“am i asking you for too much? please tell me.”

 

instead, she gives you a tight-lipped smile,” no, you’re alright! i can do that.”

 

you duck into the blanket fort, mind still on setting the alarm for tomorrow,” thanks, annie!”

 

* * *

 

convincing troy that he had to get new formalwear wasn’t too much of a challenge. you simply had to turn to him while microwaving tonight’s dinner (buttered noodles), and say,” mall trip?”

 

and troy, being troy, grins like a bat out of hell and choruses back,” mall trip!”

 

you go to the mall over the weekend. you’re t-minus a few days to the dance, since not even the dean could promise you and annie a prime time slot of a friday night (chess club tournament hosting took priority).

 

the mall nearby your apartment wasn’t anything special. it used to have more choices when the mega-department store known as dillard’s was actually open.

 

but now the dillard’s is closed and it’s rumored that skaters over the age of 30 hang out in the abandoned store, skating down the motionless escalators. someone would really just tell them that at that point, those are stairs. maybe they wouldn’t need to risk being arrested for trespassing in that case.

 

so, all in all, there’s nothing at the mall now that its main hub is closed down. just a few shops and more unlit walkways to empty lots for lease to anyone with an unsound mind for business to open up shop.

 

troy doesn’t seem to mind, and neither do you, because you both like auntie anne’s (a mall food staple) and the arcade that isn’t really an arcade because it’s just the front half of the red robin’s. but it’s a cool arcade.

 

usually troy tells the host that you have a party of 12 coming and in the time it takes to set up the seating, you get as many plays in on their frogger machine as you can. of course, now you’re banned from the red robin’s. but that’s what disguises are for.

 

today, however, you aren’t disguised. partly because the last time you were caught the head of security had told you both ‘the next time you two do this shit, you’re going to be banned mall-wide’ and troy had replied ‘the whole mall?’ and the two of them had redundant banter for a bit over what constitutes the whole mall. but also because you’re on a mission.

 

after dillard’s had closed, a jcpenney’s had risen on the other side of the mall in its wake. not as grand, not as expansive. but for this task, you figure it’ll do.

 

you had been up front about your motives,” we need to get new outfits.”

 

and since troy is nearly always on the same page as you, he goes,” for the dance? im thinking jewel tones..” and he’s in. hook, line, et cetera.

 

and since troy knows you well, he knows that is isn’t simply an ‘grab and go’ scenario. the both of you stack up a relentless amount of outfits to try on, just for the sake of a fashion montage.

 

each time you’re in the dressing room, he’s doing a muffled cover of cyndi lauper on the other side of the door. when he comes out of the stall, humorously wearing his shirt backwards, you wag a sage finger of disapproval at him and make him return to the dressing room.

 

of course, the one thing about fashion montages is that they never account for the clothing limit in a dressing room. though, many rules are meant to be broken for the sake of homage. and if you’re in the dressing room that’s closer to the home good’s half of the store than to more populated areas, than it’s as simple as that.

 

troy’s got a gigantic pile of clothing next to his feet in the stall he’s using. his jeans are thrown overtop of the door. he’s laughing, since it’s gotten to the point where you both know you can’t keep repeating the same bars to _girls just want to have fun_ forever and somewhere along the way you’ve begun to mix in a little of _time after time_.

 

“i hope my date to the dance is impressed with what i pick out!” he’s calling over to you. you know that troy knew exactly he was going to end up buying. he’d been saving it for last, and had it at the top of the pile when he was gathering things that were both dance appropriate or gag appropriate.

 

“i’m sure she will be,” and you feel bad because you’ve been half-paying attention and half in your own head plotting various meet cute scenarios that troy could go through. so far, you have two (a main and a back-up) scenarios planned for each section of the dance that troy may first run into his date.

 

he’s doing his final stepping out of the dressing room, holds his arms wide,” well, what do you think?”

 

and, truth be told, you’d hate if you’d have to execute meet cute #2 (classic ‘oops i spilled some punch on you, let me clean that up, oops i’ve been touching your chest for too long’ scenario) or #7 (similar to #2 but involving any food item rather than a liquid).

 

“abed,” he’s clearing his throat and, jeez, alright. you got a little bit caught up in trying to rework scenarios in your mind,” well?”

 

he raises his arms again for emphasis. he was right about the whole jewel tone thing. he looks.. good in purple. you’ll have to plan his date’s outfit accordingly so they look photogenic together and--

 

okay. distracted. you give him the two thumbs up seal of approval and he returns the gesture to you.

 

“okay, buddy. get in there,” troy is loosening the tie he’s trying on,” let’s seal this deal--give me your best shot!”

 

he says it like a reality show host, all dramatic and over the top at the end. you rush to the dressing room stall you had been using because it seems like you’re changing genres and you’re being timed. maybe like if what not to wear was more extreme and it had wipeout-like components. what not to wear (or else).

 

in the speedround, you show troy a few outfits. really, what you end up wearing doesn’t matter. you just didn’t want him to think he was in the process alone since it’s apart of the whole immersion of his experience being as genuine as possible kind of thing.

 

troy gives quick 1-to-5 star ratings of what you show him. he half-beatboxes some pop-y background music in the meanwhile.

 

though, as much as you liked the speedround, you had to slow down eventually to try on an outfit you were considering to give to troy’s date. a good director (if you could call yourself one in this circumstance, which you possibly could if you ask the dean), should get deeply invested into their characters. maybe even a few steps too far invested, in your opinion.

 

“abed? you okay in there?” troy’s gotten up from where he’s sitting outside of the stall. to be fair, you never told him you were going to have to break the format.

 

“yeah, just trying to get this on,” you call to him. you figure what you’ve got picked out would go best with his outfit. it’s a little on the formal side, a goldenrod maxi dress. but troy’s a good dancer and you figure he won’t step on the length of it if he’s being mindful.

 

in movies, the outfit has to make a statement. andie in _pretty in pink_ didn’t craft her own prom dress from another dress for nothing. likewise, duckie didn’t wear those unsightly white dress shoes for a lack of statement. and while putting complimentary colors together leans on the basic side of storytelling through costume, at least you’re putting in effort.

 

you unlock the stall,” can you zip this up?” and you guess it’s a little spoiler warning for the dance, but the likelihood that troy will connect the events is 100%--as in he’ll figure it out once you reveal to him your whole plan after he has a girlfriend. so it’s safe for now.

 

“sure thing, man,” and troy’s not the type for subtly. your back is turned to him, but you can still he his face reflexed in the mirror. if you could place a song on his face it’d be eric carmen’s _hungry eyes_ . you have brief _dirty dancing_ flashbacks at the soundtrack choice before troy clears his throat.

 

“this isn’t for me,” he’s fumbling with the zipper so you cut the silence,” annie wants me to shop for her friend.”

 

“her friend must be,” he pauses to swallow,” um. very tall.”

 

“she is,” you make a mental note to tell your girlfriend casting scout (which is annie, so this isn’t too far from the truth, really) that she’ll have to pick someone tall. probably should have thought of that sooner. you almost verbally thank troy for helping you with an obvious casting oversight, but remember your role.

 

“it’s a good color,” troy adds in, helpfully. you make note of that.

 

his hands been on the top of your back for a while, just hovering a little above the zipper. he withdraws his hand a little too quickly, sticks it into his pocket,” so, uh. what do you think you’re going to buy?”

 

you half-unzip the back of the dress, getting the data you need,” not sure. maybe that navy blazer? the one with the pants you have a 4.5 stars to.”

 

he jumps in to finish unzipping you after he sees you can’t go any further,” o-oh, yeah! that one. that one was good, man. go with that.”

 

in a rare moment, you lock eyes in your reflection. troy pardons himself from the stall, closing the door behind him. which is. huh. new.

 

the pair of you typically have no problem changing in front of each other. using separate stalls in the dressing room was only for the sake of montage, not out of necessity.

 

was your friendship.. at risk? or maybe he thought you were joking with him. sometimes you take things too far, same goes for him. but usually you just can give each other a look that is kind of like crying out ‘uncle! uncle!’ but in a more silent, serious way. but the look he gave you was nothing of the sort.

 

in silence, you change back into your clothes. by the time you open the stall door again, things are normal.

 

troy waves his inspector spacetime wallet (a gift from britta, advised by you) at you,” mall pretzels?” because he can’t remember the difference between auntie anne’s and wetzel’s pretzels.

 

“mall pretzels.”

 

* * *

 

mondays are when troy has dance practice after the study group, so sometimes you and annie go home for an hour before going back to pick him up. or you just kind of hang around greendale. or actually study.

 

but today it’s raining, so instead you just chose to run to the car when it isn’t a complete downpour and sit in there so you can pull right up to the curb and pick troy up in an hour.

 

the backseat of the car is filled with unused posters that you couldn’t hang around greendale in the past week. technically, the dean has an imposed limit on the amount of posters you can hang before it begins to look ‘not very eco-friendly’.

 

the limit only really came about after city college announced it’s the greenest community college in the county, which the dean took great offense to since greendale has green in its name.

 

annie’s writing things down in her planner for a while, using her pencil with the little owl at the top of it. instead of an eraser you busy yourself with copying your notes a second time to get half-committed to studying them.

 

she closes her planner,” abed, do you know why i wanted to do this dance with you?”

 

“i can remembered exactly what you said,” you do an annie impression,” ‘i think we should do a dance. for troy!’ correct?”

 

“oh, um. that’s probably what i said, huh?” she laughs awkwardly, tries to lean back more comfortably in the driver’s seat.

 

“why are you bringing it up? do you not want to plan the dance? i can understand. these final stages are more of setting up and picking the right fruit juice proportions for punch.”

 

“no, abed, it’s not that..”

 

“i’m sorry, then. i don’t know what you’re trying to hint at if you don’t say so directly.”

 

she leans forward, puts her hand on your shoulder in a way to comfort you. but you’re not that freaked out. so she’s probably trying to comfort herself,” i don’t want to quit the dance, alright?”

 

“alright.”

 

“in fact, it’s been.. really, really fun! i never really pegged you for someone so.. easy to work with, i guess.”

 

you shoot her a finger gun and a wink in response.

 

“i mean it! we make a good team.”

 

“... i’m leaving a silence for a ‘but’.”

 

“well. but,” she sighs,” i do want to do this dance for troy. but also for you! i’m doing this for you _and_ troy.. are you understanding what i mean?”

 

“not really, no. though that does remind me. can whoever you ask to be troy’s date be on the taller side? so far, the lore he has is that you have a tall friend.”

 

annie seems as lost as you are about whatever she’s trying to talk about. she sighs again,” alright. hmm. i was just going to ask.. i was going to ask britta to do it, yeah!”

 

“well, that isn’t a meet cute in that case. they’ve already met each other. i think they can only have a meet cute if they reconnect after not seeing each other for several years. you know that.”

 

“i do!” she tents her fingers together, trying to look like adult annie. grown up annie who makes the big decisions with full confidence,” but i was thinking it’s more like.. the scenario where he.. he sees her for the first time! you know, like she’s been right underneath his nose without him realizing it.”

 

“oh, i know this direction. the first time he sees that she can be more than a friend. an interesting twist i wasn’t expecting.. hm, good idea, annie.”

 

“oh, uh! thanks, abed,” she doesn’t seem too pleased with herself, but presses forward,” so you don’t need to worry about getting him a date. i think i have this all under control.”

 

you lean the passenger seat back as far as it can go just to have something to fidget with,” are you trying to tell me troy likes britta?”

 

“huh?”

 

“that his secret romantic comedy love--it’s britta. he likes romantic comedies because he projects him and britta onto them,” you’re looking at the ceiling of the car. there’s mountain dew code red stained on the fabric from the time troy sped over a speedbump while you were in the middle of taking a sip.

 

“i,” annie is shifting like she’s in the hot seat. but troy’s car doesn’t even have seat warmers,” yes!”

 

“hm.”

 

“abed?”

 

“annie?”

 

annie is checking the time on her watch, then checks the time on the car’s clock like the times will differ,” troy’s practice should be over soon.”

 

you readjust the passenger seat back to normal and buckle yourself in. annie turns the wipers on, which provides some noise.

 

“i can text britta about this when we get home. she’s.. got a lot of preparing to do for her big night, huh?”  
  
something in your chest feels heavy. probably because you have to scrap your 20+ meet cute ideas. changes in schedule are always so difficult,” make sure you tell her to wear yellow.”

 

* * *

 

 

 

thus the night of the dance comes upon you.

 

annie and you skip the study group in order to get to setting up early. shirley bakes brownies so there’s something on the dessert table that isn’t whatever starburns brought in.

 

troy drives the three of you home after study group ends. he’s bouncing his leg the whole car ride, keeps repositioning his hands on the wheel. he’s so open about his excitement, you can’t help but to catch some of it.

 

though, tonight, you will have to be in director-mode. nothing can go wrong, at least not under your watchful eye. but for now, feeling giddiness in the pit of your stomach isn’t so bad.

 

annie takes up the bathroom as soon as you get to the apartment, mainly to curl her hair. how hair curling works, really, is beyond you. why does it need so much prep time? how does it stay through the whole night? all as mysterious to you as how irons work. and those tide to-go sticks.

 

troy and you shared a bag of popcorn in place of dinner, since you both think getting sick on party snacks is like a rite of passage. got to save room in order to really feel the impact later.

 

before you leave, annie fixes troy’s tie. then she passes a lint roller over your blazer. troy goes ‘what are you, my mom?’ in a way that sounds like he doesn’t actually dislike what she’s doing.

 

troy’s twirling the ring of his car keys around his index finger, whistling while heading out the door. annie stops you before you can follow behind him. her expression is that unreadable one, but she eventually smiles at you like you’re younger than her,” make sure to have fun tonight, alright?”

 

the three of you separate for the first portion of the night. troy bumps around to socialize and dance while you and annie attend to smaller details about the dance.

 

the climate, you figure, is pretty good. you think it’ll work if you want troy to fall in love. every time you catch a glimpse at him while you’re trying to fix a speaker or adjust the angle of one of the lights, he’s all smiles. and, sometimes, he’ll catch your glance and give you a thumbs up and yell across the emptied-out cafeteria to ‘come over! come on! dance with me, bud!’.

 

an unexpected element, though, is a lot of students got confused about the dance’s dress code. maybe because you handed out shirts, specifically, to advertise the dance. so a lot of people are wearing ‘saved at the last dance’ shirts and jeans (dress pants, if they were feeling more classy) while swaying around.

 

of course, amidst the confusion on the dress code, there also seems to be a subset of people who are wearing the shirt because this is the best ‘semi-above ground, but also kinda underground’ dance club pop-up they’ve ever been to. you don’t think those people are from greendale, though.

 

you figure this adds a great deal to the natural quirkiness of the night. romantic comedies have all sorts of situations that arise from the classic comedy of errors style. though, the latter group described is mixing in some form of irony that isn’t very typical of the genre.

 

they also spend some portion of the night complaining that the punch isn’t ironic enough because it should be mixed with a non-regional grocery store brand version of mountain dew. which is a specific complaint, though to be fair, the punch is mixed with mountain drive. their palates just aren’t sensitive enough.

 

besides your mixed feelings, you know troy is having fun. and, up against the wall, you can see jeff swaying to the beat of some songs. usually, he’s your metric to tell if the night is actually fun. if it can look like jeff is even remotely enjoying himself, rather than looking like he was dragged into the situation, than that means the average, non-jeff, person is probably having a _pretty_ good time.

 

of course, you have to pat yourself on the back. your playlist has just enough “dad rock” on it for jeff (and pierce, though he’s been somewhat awol) to feel comfortable, but not too pandered to.

 

it takes a while to find britta. by the time you find her, you’re assuming she’s arriving fashionably late.

 

however, there is an issue,” britta.”

 

“abed, hey!” she’s dancing offbeat to the music, lurking awfully near the punch like she thinks you don’t know she’s going to try to spike it as soon as you look away.

 

“you aren’t wearing yellow.”

 

in fact, britta is wearing one of the dance shirts. and you know it’s because she falls into the first category of people.

 

“w.. huh?”

 

“britta. you’ve britta’d this dance.”

  
  
“hey! harsh words, dude! how was i supposed to know?”

 

“annie was supposed to tell you. look, it doesn’t matter,” you have to compose yourself. take this situation back under control,” you know what you’re supposed to be doing tonight, right?”

 

“..noooo?”

 

“annie was supposed to ask you. to be troy’s date. because he’s in love with you. or at least, he might be.”

 

britta looks flustered, but she also is staring at you like you’ve grown a third head,” troy? loves _me_?”

 

“yes. well, maybe. tonight will determine if he does. that’s the whole point of this dance.”

 

“annie told you that?” her hand is on her hip,” because if annie thinks she can use me as a prop like that, she’s going to get her-”

 

“no. i told annie that. annie wanted to do this dance, but i did the rest. i wanted troy to have a date to the dance, and she insisted on you,” you tilt your head sideways,” does this mean troy doesn’t have feelings for you? and that you don’t have feelings for him?”

 

britta looks red in the face with anger. she looks like she wants to give you an earful. but she holds it in because whitney houston is playing too loud to yell over.

 

so instead, she takes you into the corner of the cafeteria,” look, i know you don’t want me to analyze you. so let me analyze annie: she likes to play matchmaker.”

 

“i figured that since she’s helping with all of this.”

 

“after things went totally south for her love life, she’s gotta get her rocks off matching up whoever in the study group she feels like. and, okay, it’s annoying. granted. not to mention a complete exploitation of-”

 

“britta.”

 

“right,” she recomposes herself,” what i WANT to say is: you’ve been set up.”

 

“with.. you? because, britta, while i appreciate our friendship, i don’t think it would work out between-”

 

“SHUSH,” she places a finger by your lips so you shut your mouth. her hands go back to her hips while she chooses her words,” like i said, i’m not analyzing you. but think.. like, think about annie’s actions. and what i said.”

 

“what you said was kind of confusing.”

 

britta turns her attention,” dude, i’m sorry. i’m kind of, _ahem_ , high right now, and this conversation is sorta like walking on eggshells because there’s something me and annie both know that you super don’t, and i don’t want to slip up and be the one to tell you, but tomorrow you’re getting a serious discussion on how using your female friends to set eachother up on dates is TOTALLY not cool, and.”

 

“and?”

 

“i’m done. i think?” she thinks for a second,” yeah. rant over.”

 

and with that she walks towards the snacks table.

 

so now the night is.. different. troy doesn’t like britta. she doesn’t like him like that. annie is setting you up somehow?

 

all you had wanted was to give troy an unforgettable night. with laughs and goofs and quirks. something that’d end with a movie kiss. though, it wasn’t you who had come up with the idea. it was annie, technically. and you had given her a lot of agency over planning things.

 

things don’t click together all at once. it’s more like a slow reveal, the curtain being pulled away. you were never the director of the night. it was annie.

 

you need to find troy.

 

* * *

 

troy isn’t too hard to find because he spots you first.

 

“abed! _abeeeeed!_ over here!” you lock eyes with him and he mimes out raising a lasso. twirls it in the air. hooks it right around you and starts pulling.

 

a few jumps across the dance floor and you’re parallel with him,” hey.”

 

“hey!” he’s got a slight sheen of sweat across his forehead,” this party has been awesome! you guys did an awesome job. also? i think i passed my test today! let’s celebrate to that, am i right?”

 

“troy, i’m going to tell you something.”

 

“oh. alright? go for it!” he’s still dancing because _how bizarre_ by omc is playing and he likes the lindsay lohan remake of _the parent trap_ (like anyone would).

 

“you were supposed to have a date tonight. but then you didn’t. because i asked annie to find you a date, but it turns out she didn’t.”

 

“uh. okay? i mean, i thought i’d have a date to the dance too but then i didn’t ask anyone out. sooo.. thanks for trying to get me one?”

 

“we wanted to give you a night like in a romantic comedy. with the meet, _m-e-e-t_ , cute. and hijinks. because you like romantic comedies.”

 

troy’s stopped dancing,” that’s why _bennie and the jets_ has played, like, twice already? like in _27 dresses_?”

 

“yes. also because it’s a good song.”

 

he doesn’t really seem to know what to say next. usually it’s hard for you and troy to have such an awkward lull in the conversation. though, over the past few weeks, they’ve grown more common.

 

“anyways, in romantic comedies, there’s that moment where the main character realizes who they’re in love with has been right under their nose the whole time.”

 

“are you..” troy’s brain looks thoroughly wrinkled,” so you and annie decided to toy with my emotions? that’s kind of.. note cool, abed.”

 

“did you hear what i just said?”

 

“yes! i did hear! i’m just,” he looks angry,” this isn’t a romcom. it’s real life. and it’s, like.. my life! and i don’t like being treated like a character in your life.”

 

“when you were talking to me about romantic comedies i thought it was what you wanted. annie, too. but i get this is about me right now.”

 

people are bumping into you on all sides. being this surrounded isn’t very comfortable for you, but you continue on,” you were talking about them to me because you have feelings for me, right? and in the dreamatorium, you were trying to tell me again.”

 

” i.. you think i want to date you?” troy looks like he’s bubbling over. a pot overfilled. he wipes at his cheeks,” but.. i’m mad! i’m mad at you right now, abed! because you played with my emotions and made a secret dance with annie. and, alright, i like you. a _lot_! because how can’t i?”

 

he throws his hands up,” so, you’ve caught me. i want to kiss my best friend. but i don’t like being messed with. like, you’re not hiding a camera anywhere to use this for some film studies class, right?”

 

“well, no.”

 

troy’s crying because he’s troy. he’s emotional and over-the-top and you’re staring at him like a fish that’s been snatched out of water,” it’s nice of you to try to give me this, but i don't want it if it’s just you exploring a genre.”

 

he wipes his face, trying to appear composed,” and i don't want to storm out right now because i know both you and i hate the end of act two trope where things have to get better before they get worse. so there’s that.”

 

“are we still friends?”

 

his laugh is hollow, but he shrugs,” of course we are. i’m mad, but.. if you can forgive me for trying to push us together i can forgive you for.. also trying to push us together? in a much weirder way.”

 

 _bennie and the jets_ begins playing for the third time that night. troy’s finished wiping at his face. he smiles up at you. it’s small, apologetic,” i really love this song.”

 

“i know you do.”

 

* * *

 

 

you’re cleaning up after the dance. annie and troy help. things didn’t get as trashed as they usually do at greendale events, so it was, overall, very above average.

 

annie seems to have figured nothing really happened between you and troy. once everyone clears out, she had grabbed your hand and given you a very sincere apology. you think she realizes you’re not mad at her. you let her hug you before getting to work.

 

after most of the work is done, annie looks at her phone,” hey guys, britta didn’t spike the punch.”

 

“cheers to that!” troy pours himself a solo cup of it.

 

she pockets her phone,” what i mean is: she still had the alcohol on her. she’s still in the parking lot. i’m going to drive her car to take her home, alright?”

 

“annie,” you call after her,” make sure you thank her. preferably when she’ll remember it, though.”

 

“can do.” and like that, annie’s gone.

 

troy’s finished his punch and is kicking at the pile of streamers that’s accumulated in the corner. you’re going to have to wrestle those into a trash bag or two sometime tonight to throw them out.

 

he sits himself down into the pile like it’s leaves in the fall. he catches you looking at him,” hey! it’s comfortable down here. don’t knock it.”

 

you plop right next to him, some of the loose streamers flurrying around you.

 

music is still playing. just from your laptop a ways away because you couldn’t clean up without making it feel like a montage. _in your eyes_ is playing, just barely. if this were _say anything_ , you’d be under troy’s window, holding up a boombox. you’d be john cusack in a trenchcoat.

 

but, of course. you and troy live in an apartment. it’d be pretty hard to stand under his window (which is also your window) so he could hear the song.

 

“many things happened tonight.”

 

“yeah,” troy stretches his arms behind his back, ditches his suit coat before sitting back up,” i love you.”

 

and if you had to classify this moment as a scene (which it’s not because your life isn’t a movie or a show), this would be the scene where you kiss him.

 

but you don’t. because troy is leaning over to you, tangling a warm hand in your hair with his thumb brushing at your cheek.

 

as far as kisses go, troy kisses like the boy next door. sweet, chaste. it’s only seconds long, but he pulls back from you slowly, his eyelids fluttering.

 

he clears his throat after he’s studied your face for long enough. he sounds breathless,” was that cool with you?”

 

“yes,” and he reaches for your hand and squeezes it. you squeeze back.

 

troy swipes the tip of his tongue over his mouth and bursts out laughing,” ok, _WHAT_  chapstick do you use?”

 

“lipsmacker’s. cookies n’cream from the, now defunct, vanilla creams line. why?”

 

“because it tastes soooo good, dude!”

 

“like cookies and cream, right?”

 

“JUST like cookies and cream!”

 

you lean forward, kissing him again. you pull back,” there. now you have more of it on your mouth.”

 

and troy keeps laughing and through his laughs he’s trying to tell you it’s _sooo_ not romantic to kiss someone just so they can taste your chapstick. which means you keep doing it because he’s got tears running down his face from laughter.

 

eventually, your mouth is chapstick-free and troy is calling ‘uncle! uncle!’ while holding his sides.

 

he takes a few moments to collect himself before saying,” what genre should we do next? if we were doing genres.”

 

“which we’re not.”

 

“right. which we’re not. even though i guess i really did like my romcom. in the end, at least. and the middle, i guess? i love dances.”

 

“i know you do.”

 

“i thinking maybe those summer roadtrip movies? that’s not really a genre. i just want to go on a roadtrip with you. maybe the whole study group because those movies always have some real dysfunctional people in them.”

 

“see, i’m still thinking about the end of this. if it were a movie. would our credits have a blooper reel or one of those ‘where are they now?’ slideshows?”

 

“i love both of those! i don’t want to choose.” he weighs the options,” i want the slideshow. like in _legally blonde_.”

 

“at the end of the slideshow it can say we’re happily joining our study group on a roadtrip come summer break. how about that?”

 

“umm.. it’s awesome, is what it is!” his hand has been playing with some of the streamers around him from a while. he abandons them to lace his fingers between yours.

 

“we’re going to have to get up soon,” you remind him.

 

“in a minute. i’m visualizing the slideshow.” his eyes are closed, his thumb brushes overtop of your knuckle.

 

you close your eyes, too, and see it with him.

**Author's Note:**

> if u read this thank you so much. i put together a playlist for the whole dance here: https://goo.gl/LYvxkf


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